Ep 15: Have You Ever Met the Always Monster or the Never Monster??

Today we talk about what I mean by the “Always Monster” and the “Never Monster.” You can watch this week’s episode below or hop on over to the original Facebook post to comment.

I hope you find today’s episode encouraging and challenging as you continue to work on yourself and grow your business.

What I’m MOST encouraged by in this episodes is these monsters are only scary if we DON’T know they exist. Once we know they’re there, they lose SO much power.

Okay, let’s get into it…

The other set of ugly twins, monsters actually, falls into the “Usual Suspects” category

What are “Usual Suspects?” Great question! If this is a new term for you, here’s what I mean. “Usual Suspects” are those limiting thoughts and old habits we find lurking nearby when we discover we’ve been holding ourselves back.

If you want to learn more about a few more “Usual Suspects,” feel free to check out Episode 12, Episode 13, and Episode 14. Each one of these digs a little deeper AND provides very practical tips on ditching them.

Now back to the Always and Never Monsters…

In Episode 5, I did an episode around one specific instance of the Never usual suspect: “Oh, I could never do that.”

So, if you haven’t watched or listened to it, I’d encourage you to do so!

Let’s take a look at some examples of when these usual suspects can show up

“I always mess things up”

“I never reach my goals”

There are many more, but you get the gist, right?

OK, because I think words are so rich and knowing their real definitions, no not assuming we know their entire meaning, I usually look them up to get more of a picture of WHO they are…

Always: At all times, on all occasions

Never: At no time in the past or future, on no occasion, not ever

So, let’s take a look at those statements I just made:

“I always mess things up” or in other words “I at all times and on all occasions mess things up”

Or: “I never reach my goals” in other words, “I at no time in the past or future, and on no occasion do I reach my goals.”

When I substituted the definition for the word, the statement sounded less real, didn’t it? It also sounded SO MUCH MEANER! I can’t imagine saying something like that to a loved one! But we say things like that to ourselves on a regular basis.

So, why is knowing this and no longer making these statements important?

Our mind pays attention to what we say!

Sometimes, I think we forget that our mind is a living, changing thing. That might sound weird to say, but it’s true.

And it listens to what we say.

And that protective part of your brain, the one that views pretty much everything as a threat, really pays attention to what you say. So, if you say something like “I never reach my goals” enough times, that crocodile brain of your will start to see goals as a threat simply because we feel we “never” reach them. Think about the far-reaching ramifications of that newly-wired-into-our-minds limit?

I must add a caveat to the always/never usual suspects. There are some instances that we should treat differently but I also think we’ll recognize them when we hear ourselves say it: for instance, “I always overcommit to things” or “I never leave the house on time.”

Do you see how those instances feel different? They aren’t necessarily limiting thoughts, they’re more like guard rails keeping you in your lane. Is the nuance clear? I hope so.

The Weekly Challenge: If you hear yourself start to say “I always…” or “I never…” stop yourself and think about it. Question its validity.

And because I adore you, I came up with some always/never statements that feel worthy of you:

You were ALWAYS meant to live when and where you do. Own it.
There will NEVER be anyone like you ever again.
Your world will ALWAYS be a better place when you step into your greatness.
Playing small will NEVER serve you.