Ep 13: The Usual Suspects Series… If I Fully Showed Up, I Would Be Too Much

I know today’s episode title reads like an intro to a personal development horror flick but it’s that time of year AND I really believe the statement is true.

BUT… what I also believe to be true is our awareness of this sinister sibling gives us power over it. So, our story doesn’t have to end like most Halloween movies do.

Curious about what on earth this sinister sibling, this more evil twin actually is? Check out this week’s episode…

We’re continuing the Usual Suspects Series and today’s suspect is the sneaky, fraternal twin of last week’s suspect which was “not enough.”

It’s not identical, but it’s just as ugly.

It’s the thought of “too much.”

In other words, If I was fully me, if I fully showed up to the situation, the meeting, the room, I would be too much.

It’s ugly, isn’t it?

I have a friend who sings beautifully and she told me, she’s afraid to unleash her voice around other people. That it would be too much.

I know several very smart women entrepreneurs who have held back on speaking up or asking for the sale because they thought it would be too much…

Let me share an example of this in my own life that I hope you find helpful in recognizing this ugly twin in your life or in the live’s of others around you.

I may have mentioned that “positivity” is one of my 5 Gallup’s StrengthsFinder strengths. It something that I really like about myself now, but that hasn’t always been the case.

Additionally… not everyone has treasured this strength in my life. There was a time in my career when I received feedback from several people that my positivity was coming across as naivety. It happened a few times in the span of a couple months.

And it really affected me.

I really started to temper my naturally positive nature. I would smile less because that somehow made me “less naive.”

I started wearing more and more neutral clothes, because my positive nature packaged in colorful clothes felt like a sure path to get more of those devastating comments. I didn’t want to open myself up to that any more.

So, I allowed those comments to make me feel like I needed to be smaller to fit in these scenarios.

Ultimately, I came around to the knowledge that these are just not my people and that I am my best when I embrace my strengths. I’ll find my people and they’ll find me. 🙂

So, cool. How what? How can I act when I notice myself using the phrase “too much?”

1. Ask the opposite: So, if I took the story I shared in today’s episode as an example, I would turn the phrase of “being positive makes me look naive” into a question asking the opposite. So… “Does being negative make me smart?” By flipping it and asking it to prove itself, you can take a lot of the “too much” power away from it.

2. Ask if these are even your people: it matters who we listen to and what we let into our minds and hearts. It might sound cheesy but it’s SO true! So, if someone is telling you you’re too much, I think it’s wildly appropriate to ask yourself this question. XOXO

3. Find someone you trust and ask them: sometimes an external perspective is super valuable so I have a handful of people I go to when I get the sense that others think I’m “too much” or if I’m starting to think that thought over myself. Nine times out of 10, they’ll say that’s crazy… if they’re you’re people. 😉

4. Find that community! If you’re looking for a group of women entrepreneurs to have conversations like this, to support each other and celebrate with one another for fully stepping into our greatness… I want you to know IT’S COMING! Email me at heyginny@unsabotage.com to find out all the details.

5. Write about it: you know I’m a fan of this. And since we think 95% of the same thoughts everyday, it’s incredibly valuable to see your thoughts so you can examine them and challenge them if necessary. If you already have a place to go do that, like a journal or a favorite app, use it! If you’re looking for something, I have a gift for you at UnSabotage.com/tryit that serve’s this exact purpose.

6. Don’t speak “too much” over others: while it can go without saying, I want to say it. As women entrepreneur’s we have the opportunity to model so much to others: our friends, our loved ones, our clients, our colleagues, and the future generation. As we step into our own greatness, we encourage others to do the same.

I hope you adored this week’s episode. Do you have a favorite thought or takeaway? Share in the comments over on UnSabotage.com.

Until next time, have an amazing week and step into your full greatness! You are not too much. You are exactly what your world needs!

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